The Birth of Your Dream
January 23, 2022
Written By: Gena Caruthers
It was Easter Sunday, you know, the day that EVERYONE goes to church. I woke up early and my back was killing me, but at eight months pregnant, that’s to be expected. The kitchen needed attention, so I unloaded the dishwasher, popped a slice of bread in the toaster, poured a cup of hot coffee, and proceeded with my normal routine. Assessing the situation, as I was not feeling any better, I decided that taking a couple of Tylenol and a hot shower would be the perfect solution…
Standing in the shower rubbing my back, alternating with rubbing my swollen belly, it occurred to me that the pain wasn’t continuous, oh wow – it’s intermittent. That’s weird! (Yes girls, this is how we had babies 35 years ago: without the internet, Google for research, or cell phones. Can you imagine – I didn’t even know if I was having a boy or a girl!!! Our ‘Gender-Reveals’, happened at BIRTH – LOL!)
My young age of 21, with limited knowledge, had not prepared me for back-labor, or that my baby would be born 5 weeks premature! If we didn’t get this information from our doctor we just kept going along as normal... Soon after drying off and getting dressed, my husband and I wisely assessed the situation, determined that this could be pre-labor and that I should stay home. Oh yes, he would go to church, after all, it was Easter Sunday, remember? Only sinners don’t go to church on Easter – LOL! Once arriving at church, without a pregnant wife, everyone asked my whereabouts. He explained and was IMMEDIATELY sent home to be with me. In the meantime, YES, I called the doctor. Phooey! The doctor I liked least in the group, was the on-call. Since my “pains” were just about five minutes apart, they recommended a visit to the ER. Do you know what the ER is like on a holiday? CRAZY! I walked in, holding my little belly, went to the window, and explained my situation. After obtaining the pertinent information the receptionist politely asked me to step to the side and wait, they would call when it was my turn. Looking right – then left, no chairs, so I leaned against the wall and waited. (NO… absolutely no-one offered their chair, but in their defense, I was a tiny 113 lbs. - they probably thought “oh this silly little girl, she’s probably been here 3 times already with false labor!”) Thankfully the wait wasn’t as long as I had expected. The labor and delivery nurse wheeled me up the hall to the elevator, all the while making small talk about my symptoms. I explained, “for some reason, every time I have a contraction, I have to hold myself up, there’s so much pressure”. (GOOD LORD! I was so naive.) She stayed calm, helped me to the table, and checked my condition. After the examination she looked clearly at me and said “ma’am, you’re NINE centimeters dilated, you’re about to have this baby!”
”NO! It isn’t time!
Is everything okay?
Hot tears began to stream down my young face.
What was happening?
I NEED AN EPIDURAL!!!!”
The nurses snatched David out in the hall and warned him, “Sir, your baby probably won’t be breathing when it’s born, it may be purple, we will have to work with it... You won’t be able to hold It, and it will immediately go to the neonatal unit. Please stay calm.”
This was NOT THE PLAN!
My baby. Something I never met, yet grew inside, something I already deeply loved.
I was scared.
This year many of us have set new goals. These goals were conceived in our hearts, right now they are only embryos … growing. That first trimester is the most crucial. Every. Tiny. Detail. Is being developed. Each day something new, cell by cell is taking form. Before the baby bump even shows, this tiny little baby goal and dream has already developed fingers, toes, legs, and arms!
Remember, during this embryonic stage, patience is so important. While the steps you are taking for development seem SO SMALL, and SO SLOW (while I may add – it seems everyone else’s dreams go viral in a month’s time-lol), each step is a part of the process, and consistency is vital.
I had dreams for the day my baby would be born. How it would happen... And I remember that both of my girls, Ashley and Lauren, also had everything perfectly planned. You probably did too. Did it happen the way we planned? Laughing…. I don’t think ANY babies are born the way a new momma expects. There are always twist and curves that reroute the process.
We are in the third week of January and I want to urge you to be kind to yourself and your new goal path. When the road twist in an unexpected direction, watch for signs, seek out a mentor, and PRAY. Never underestimate the power and direction of God’s guidance and perfect will.
Seldom are our babies (goals & dreams) born the way we expect.
So today you may find yourself in that scared place of goal growth or delivery, things may not be going as you’ve planned, or expected (AT ALL). But that’s okay, re-evaluate, replan, and keep going. Seek out that mentor, friend, or encourager. Because as women, that’s what we do…. We keep going. We don’t stop in the middle of the pregnancy or giving birth!
….Upon realizing that the baby’s head was crowning, and the doctor had arrived, we soon heard, the loudest, strongest, scream ever…! And the doctor (who ended up being totally awesome) said “Y’all have a red-headed baby boy!” Nathaniel Wayne Caruthers - 5 lbs. 4 oz. and 19” long was born healthy and strong! We all went home 48 hours later and started the next chapter of parenthood, which was also nothing like I had planned or expected! (lol)
My sweet friend, your goals and dreams won’t happen how you expect, just as our babies weren’t born how we expected, and planned. But one thing I do know, God works all things TOGETHER for our good (Romans 8:28).
Today my prayer for you is found in Psalms 20:4,
“May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, and fulfill all your purpose.” (KJV)”
P.S. Yes, I did have that epidural at 9cm!!!! No, it did not work until I was in recovery. (LOL!)
Weekly Prayer Focus:
Throughout the week, I invite you to write or print this prayer focus as we draw closer to God.
Psalms 20:4, “May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, and fulfill all your purpose.”
Lord, “Help my heart to be patient as you develop steps in my life that will help me reach the goals and dreams you have given.”
I pray for mentors that will lead, guide, and encourage me on this journey. Help me to not only hear their advice, but also take it to heart, and apply it to my life.
As my heart is still today, I pray to hear your voice.
